Love, Sex And Attraction!
The very word ‘ Attraction’ itself is fantastically attractive.
Sex and love are the great driving forces of human affairs. It is the source of our deepest feelings and the inspiration for much of our culture.Yet, how do we actually understand them?
Our culture is in love with the idea of love ,awash with cock-eyed romanticism.
Whether we like it or not, awoman’s youth and physical appearance and a man’s power and social status do play a role in mate selection.
We select mates who are more or less our equals.
Persona theory: Each of us wear a mask, a persona which is the face that we show to other people.This theory suggests that we select a mate who will enhance this self image.
Each one of us is compulsively searching for a mate with a very particular set of positive and negative traits.For instance a man was 3 months into his second marriage.When his first marriage broke,he vowed that he would never be involved with a woman like his first wife. He thought she was selfish and mean. But one day he heard the voice of his ex wife coming from the lips of his new partner,he panicked and realized that the two woman had nearly identical personalities.
Sometimes our old brain tries to recreate the environment of childhood.Sometimes people fall in love because their old brain had their parents confused with their partners.Their brain believed that they have finally found the ideal candidate to make up for the psychological and emotional damage they experienced in childhood. And the reason the brain is trying to recreate the past is a compelling need to heal childhood wounds.
Whenever we watch some kind of romantic shows on television,we really don’t like it when mum tells us that it is not real because in movies and books that we read, everywhere its all ‘Love’ that conquers.
Yes,its true that most of the time we get attracted to the people with symmetrical face structure.It’s not just that ,a person with self confidence and happiness also plays a vital role.
People tend to be attracted by people who find them or seem likely to find them attractive.The faces that we like are the faces that are looking our way .The eyes that we are mesmerized by are the eyes that are looking into ours.
Love at first sight is a mere projection.
People see their masculine animus or their feminine anima in a member of the opposite sex and are attracted by what they recognise as the unconscious and hidden part of themselves.
Part of joy of having that other person so intimately present in one’s life is firmly connected to the undeniable fact that they also makeyou feel just great about yourself.
We get to know someone on a social level by talking about their likes and dislikes ,favourite things etc.It helps to relateto each other logically.It serves as an excuse to like someone.You have heard people say “We have so much in common” or “We have nothing in common” as a reason to be attracted to someone.That is when they say opposites or similarities attract.Definitely,it’s a good reason,but not the cause.
Attraction=Sexual Tension+Chemistry
Chemistry is the mutual connection between 2 people.Some people are ease to connect with, therefore easy to connect with.Chemistry happens when something is given and received and then in return given and received.If someone is not for open for giving and receiving ,they are not open for connection.Therefore, chemistry becomes difficult.
Sexual tension is what seperates friends from lovers.
There are 3 types of emotion system and each emotion system is correlated with a specific neurobiology in the brain.
The sex drive {lust}: It is characterized by craving for sexual gratification and associated primarily with hormones.
The attraction system {Passionate love, obsessive love or infatuation}: It is characterized by increased energy and the focusing of attention on a preferred mating partner.Here the attraction is associated in the brain primarily with high levels of neurotransmitters, dopamine and norepinephrine and with low levels of serotonin.
The attachment system {companionate love}: It is characterized by feelings of security,social comfort and emotional union. Attachment is associated in the brain primarily with the neuropeptides,oxytocin and nosopressin.But some cases a person feels attracted and then in a slow pace gets close attachment with that person.
The 3 emotion system also act in cooperation with one another as well as it can also act independently like they express deep attachment for a long term mate and also at same time they express attraction for someone else.
We are phsycologically capable of loving more than one person.
Body language is an essential ingredient of attraction.Once our mind decides we like someone as a potentialmate our body automatically begins to change physically to attract the person.
What is seen as attractive are_openness,harmless,,interested,approachable and fertile.The very first impressions that is likely to attract is a smiling, upward looking ,confident face and not someone who is looking down at shoes or phones.
